Allan is my older brother, who thankfully shares my stupid sense of humour, which made him perfect for writing the dialogue and menus for Kitty Powers' Matchmaker. I asked him to write up his experience of working on the project. Here's his 'interpretation' of events...
Once upon a time, around eighteen months ago, I had a call from my younger brother, Richard. He told me he had a project which he needed some help with. Richard said he was looking for someone with a certain sense of humour to write dialogue and content for a game he was designing on behalf of a Ms Kitty Powers. I was slightly confused as, up until that point, I had been a school bus driver and had no experience of either the computer game industry, game design or writing (except perhaps shopping lists). I told Richard this but he said not to worry as I'd soon be receiving a visit from Kitty herself. "If anyone can inspire you, Kitty can!" he said, optimistically.
The very next day Kitty arrived in an unfeasibly long, pink limousine. My elderly neighbours were shocked to say the least. Kitty invited herself in and sat on the modest sofa in my front room.
"So... apparently you're funny." Kitty said, in what I subsequently came to understand, was her usual patronizing way.
"Erm.. I'm not exactly sure... I really like 'Monty Python' and Spike Milligan if that helps?" I replied.
"Well, you need to be funny!" Kitty said. "And you need to hurry up!"
I reluctantly agreed. I wasn't about to argue with a seven foot tall, neon-pink Glamazon.
At first I had no idea what was involved. I'd never attempted anything like this before. I was introduced to all manner of new-fangled things, like computers, spreadsheets and video conferencing. After a while, it became clear that this was a mammoth undertaking and there seemed to be no end in sight. I soon got into the swing of things though and the content slowly began to trickle forth. Fairly soon into the process I realized something important. For the first time in my life, the ridiculous voices in my head could be put to good use! I exploited this new realization and very soon the spreadsheet cells were filling with bits of dialogue.
"We've made a new minigame so you'll need to write dialogue for it." said Kitty… quite frequently. "We need restaurant menus from this list of countries." said Kitty. "The dishes on the menus have to be unique to that country and fit very specific criteria."
"Aah... I see..." I began my research into international cuisine. It was a tough slog I can tell you but eventually, somehow, I got it done. "We need funny names for the achievements!" said Kitty. "We also need hundreds of occupations and interests that match certain stereotypes!"
"Hmm... right… okay..."
There's something about Ms Kitty that cannot be ignored. Certainly, it was her constant nagging, cajoling and encouragement (borderline harassment) that made me see the project through to the end. My brain was fried. My fingertips were bleeding from all the typing. But I was happy and so, thankfully, was Ms Kitty.
Thanks Allan you nutter. I hope Kitty doesn't read this lol